Re-posting the past few episodes of my weekly web comic that can be seen most Mondays at www.stevesword.com

Re-posting the past few episodes of my weekly web comic that can be seen most Mondays at www.stevesword.com

I started this website at a time of creative renewal. Approaching the end of college, I realized I wasn’t happy in the career path I had pursued. I seriously came to dread a lifetime of tedious corporate office work, the type of work that really does kill your soul. I had just recently started writing seriously (and better) again, and during this time I also became more inspired in my drawing. “Goddamnit,” I said, and became resolute to not going to let my talents disappear into the farty night. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve got a cold for the first time in about a year. But today’s sick day is a curious proposition: I’m an unemployed college graduate who hasn’t had a day of work or school in five months, yet I am still compelled to enjoy the opportunity to “take a day off”. Since I don’t have to miss anything I don’t have to feel guilty about staying home. And since I usually am at home, but now I am actually sick, I don’t have to feel guilty about sleeping late and sitting around all Tuesday. It’s a perfect storm of smelly and lazy!

7:00 – Woke up. Sent email to my mom saying that I won’t be able to come in to work today. Fell out of chair laughing.

10:10 – Woke up again.

10:30 – Drank a glass of 1/2 milk, 1/2 orange juice, put some green peas in it – or as I call it, “Campbell’s Chunky Breakfast”

11:40 – Dozed off, had dreams of watching How I Met Your Mother episodes and being mildly disappointed. Or were they dreams…

12:00 – Went to Grocery store in a haze, get home only to realize I had spent $40 on 2 oranges and Bac-Os. That’s a lot of oranges.

1:15 – Ate toast, sprinkled Emergen-C packets over butter

3:05 – Saw a weird episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation I hadn’t seen before. Everyone was wearing Noh theater masks

4:00 – Watched two episodes of the Office on Netflix instant streaming. Man I’d hate to work in an office like that

4:50 – Took a shower – hacked up a bunch of phlegm and a tiny skeleton. Fell out of the shower laughing.

Spray paint murals are a controversial area of contemporary art. Not only does the world seem unwilling (or perhaps unready) to accept the spray paint mural aesthetic, but the common side effect of dimensional inversion prevents the medium from pushing outside its relatively small corner of the art world.

One artist, Canadian-born Richard Pantsel, has established his name as one of the more talented and dangerous spray paint mural artists. While some have criticized his lack of basic technique, others have cited his relentless appetite for destruction to be indicative of a zealous disregard for established forms. Regardless of your personal opinion, Pantsel is a wanted criminal. Read the rest of this entry »

“You tha man!”

If you’re writing reading this, odds are you’re still unemployed after all these days, weeks, months, years! Since Tip #7 you’ve no doubt applied to every entry-level cubicle-squid job there is in (your respective city), and still nothing. You considered traipsing down to the local cafe or brasserie to see about getting a part time job, but your family has filed an injunction legally barring you from doing so. So there you were, every day, on the internet, casting your lure and seeing your resume bait wretched violently off its hook and thrown back in your face. And in all that time, the seasons have turned, you internet girlfriend has left you, and your roommates have been replaced by Chinese venture capitalists who sold off your Pop Tarts (haha, remember?!?) to buy shares in a Belarussian goose liver consortium.

What’s become of you?

Well, it’s time to get back on the horse-machine and get back to living life.

Tip #8: Open a Window in there!

Peeeeeeeeee-yewwwwww!

Cripes, man, it smells bad in your room. What have you been doing in there? Have you taken a shower in the past two months? Have you forgotten the basics of hygiene and self-respect? Because a clean body equals a clean mind and a clean mind will get you at least $28k competitive salary + some benefits.

So crack a window will ya!

Make your bed, sweep up your skin flakes and fallen hair, and clip those 4 ft. long nails of yours! Go out, buy some fresh fruit and M&Ms! Put a new fur cover on your toilet seat! I WILL BE COMING TO INSPECT THURSDAY AFTERNOON, AND I’M ONLY GONNA KNOCK TWICE I’VE GOT A LOT OF LIVES TO INSPECT.

Pay your wireless internet bills so that you can download more TIPS FOR THE UMPLOYED!!

Let’s cut right to the chase: Jay Leno sucks and NBC is really desperate. So by all means, give him five hours a week during prime-time.

Let’s get this fat clown show on the road:

9:52 – Change channel to NBC which is finishing up “America’s Got Talent”. They should just rename NBC to UPN

9:53 – Change channel to “Family Guy” rerun on channel with screwed up image and sound because it’s  less annoying

10:00 – WOW THE TITLES! It’s like a barrage of 1995

10:01 – Jay Leno throws Cheez-Its on the ground, audience rushes stage

10:02 – It’s like watching a fat 1970′s Italian film actor do stand up. WISH THEY OVER-DUBBED A LESS ANNOYING VOICE Read the rest of this entry »